Ending a relationship with a toxic ex is challenging enough, but it can feel even worse when they continue to spread lies, twist the truth, and play manipulative games. Whether they’re standing you up, using your words against you, or always trying to one-up you, these behaviours can take a toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing. Here are 10 strategies to help you cope and protect your peace.
1. Limit Contact (Go No-Contact if Possible)
The less communication you have, the less opportunity they have to manipulate or twist your words. If cutting off contact completely isn’t possible, keep interactions brief, factual, and emotion-free.
2. Set Firm Boundaries
Clearly define what you will and will not tolerate. Let them know you won’t engage with them unless it’s absolutely necessary (e.g., if you share children). Stick to your boundaries and don’t let them push your limits.
3. Avoid Emotional Reactions
They thrive on getting a rise out of you. By staying calm and refusing to engage in arguments or drama, you deny them the satisfaction of controlling your emotions. Respond with neutrality or silence.
4. Document Everything
If they’re spreading lies, twisting your words, or making false claims, keep records of conversations, texts, and emails. Documentation can protect you if their behaviour escalates or if legal action becomes necessary.
5. Don’t Fall for Their Games
When they arrange meet-ups and don’t show, or make claims of “forgetting,” recognise these actions for what they are: attempts to control and hurt you. Avoid giving them chances to play these games by refusing to engage in unreliable plans.
6. Stop Sharing Personal Information
Anything you share can be used against you. Keep your personal life, plans, and feelings private. The less they know, the less ammunition they have to manipulate or compete with you.
7. Lean on Your Support System
Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about what you’re experiencing. They can offer perspective, validation, and emotional support to help you stay strong and resilient.
8. Practice Self-Care
Dealing with a manipulative ex is exhausting. Prioritise activities that nourish your mind and body—exercise, hobbies, meditation, or creative outlets. Taking care of yourself helps you maintain your emotional balance.
9. Don’t Engage in the Competition
If they’re constantly trying to outdo you, ignore it. Focus on your own goals, growth, and happiness. Competing with them keeps you trapped in their toxic cycle; disengaging sets you free.
10. Seek Professional Advice if Needed
If their behaviour is affecting your mental health or they’re causing serious issues (like spreading damaging lies), consult a therapist or legal professional. Protecting yourself is a priority, and there are resources to help.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with an ex who lies, manipulates, and plays games is incredibly difficult, but you have the power to protect your peace and reclaim your life. By setting boundaries, limiting contact, and focusing on your wellbeing, you can break free from their toxic influence. Remember, their actions reflect their own issues—not your worth. Stay strong, stay calm, and keep moving forward. 💪💕
